Russia's despotic President Vladimir Putin turns 70 today (October 7), and the world is reflecting upon the madness unleashed by the murderous loon during his reign in charge of the country.
So we've decided to have a look back at his seven most disgusting, horrendous and evil acts – starting with his current, ongoing war in Ukraine.
In February 2022, Putin decided to start war in Europe for the first time in around 30 years by launching a ground invasion of neighbouring Ukraine.
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He did it under the premise of clearing it of “Nazis”, ironically, while most of us knew he just wanted to recreate the Soviet Union.
Putin, who seemingly likes to live in the past, has since failed miserably with his mission with many thousands of Russian troops coming up against a defiant Ukrainian army.
So far, around 55,000 Russian troops have died, with Putin failing to call up 300,000 extra recruits, as nearly the same amount of people have fled the country or refused to actually fight on the front line.
Without going into too many grim details, Putin's troops have committed unspeakable acts of torture, rape and murder in various areas of Ukraine – and it's likely that the pensioner will be dragged kicking and screaming in front of The Hague to face war crimes charges eventually.
Around 22 years before this current war, Putin wanted to start another conflict – this time in Chechnya .
But he needed something to spark it.
So he blew up four Russian apartment blocks, in the cities of Buynaksk, Moscow and Volgodonsk, killing around 300 people and blamed it on Chechen rebels.
Putin's cover was blown – not that it mattered – when, three days after these bombings, one of his allies announced that another bombing had happened in Volgodonsk.
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It did, but it happened three days after it was announced.
Another bombing was due to happen, but the bomb was “found” by Russian secret service FSB agents, and it emerged that three other FSB agents had planted the bombs.
They claimed it was a “training drill” and that the bombs contained “only sugar”, but this was never proven, and questions still remain over the true reason for the bombings…sort of.
Speaking of conspiracy theories, in July 2014, Malaysian Airlines Fight 17 was shot down by pro-Russian rebels in the name of Putin and killed all 283 passengers and 15 crew members on board.
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Three Russians and one Ukrainian had been named as murder suspects by the National Police chief of the Netherlands, Wilbert Paulissen in 2019.
They were Igor Girkin, Sergey Dubinskiy, Oleg Pulatov and Leonid Kharchenko – all of whom have close ties to Putin.
The excuse given at the time of the shooting was that it was an “accident” by the rebels, but theories have raged on ever since, mainly from Russia, claiming that it had nothing to do with the rebels, with some even stating that the plane just happened to explode by itself.
Justice has never been found by the families of those who died, and nobody has even been punished for it – although it is thought to be on a potential list of war crimes Putin could face at The Hague one day.
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Something else the old man will be tried for if he ever ends up going to the International Criminal Court is the war in Syria, which has seen Russia openly slaughtering thousands of innocent Syrians because Putin is best pals with fellow despot Bashar al-Assad.
Official figures of those killed by Russia in Syria range from around 500,000 to 610,000, but the total continues to rise as Putin attempts to keep al-Assad in power as President of the failing, war-torn country.
But hey, what are friends for, right?
Speaking of friends, Putin has not-so-secretly-but-he's-never-going-to-admit-to-it killed many of his former friends turned enemies in order to keep his seat at the head of the Russian table of power.
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From poisoning former Russian military officer Sergei Skripal on UK soil in 2018, to assassinating – while making it look like suicide – at least 10 of his most outspoken critic oligarchs just this year alone, it is clear that Putin will do whatever it takes to remain leader.
Putin has been in power in Russia since 2008, when he took over as Prime Minister from Viktok Zubkov.
He was then promoted to President in 2012.
Since then, he has changed the laws on several occasions to make sure he retains power for as long as possible, and all elections are essentially pointless because the results are always nearly 100% in his favour.
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Funny how frightening the living c**p out of the population keeps you in power, right?
On a lighter note, one of Putin's worst ever crimes was subjecting us all to a short-lived reality television show about his life in 2018.
For a very short but horrendous period of time, he was the face of a TV show in Russia ominously titled 'Moscow. Kremlin. Putin' which was mocked by some as a Kardashian style 'Keeping up with the Kremlin'.
Ostensibly a meet and greet show, the cameras followed Vladimir as he went about his business in Russia "documenting his weekly activities and showing him as a responsible, sensitive leader".
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The TV show was aired, predictably, on Russian state television and saw Putin stalking through the Russian countryside, riding horses bareback and reclining topless in military cargo trousers.
Every episode began with a studio host introducing the weekly activities of Russia's glorious leader.
And amazingly so utterly besotted are some members of the Russian public with their leader, actual safety concerns were raised with the Kremlin over some of Putin's activities shown in the show which were done in the countryside where bears are known to frequent.
So here's to you, you old despotic pensioner.
We'd have a shot of Russian vodka in your honour, but we can't because…you know, it's not available outside your own country any more, and we don't really want to toast you.
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