He Says: Have I Mentioned You Can’t Change Other People?

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Dear Troubled With Trying;

You are both stupid.

That’s the answer. Now I have to pad this out to 800 words.

What should you do? You should stop expecting other people to change so that you can be happy.

If you want children why did you marry a man who doesn’t want children? Because you thought he was going to change in order to make you happy. That’s why.

Everything you wrote tells me that he wasn’t enthusiastic about having children and only reluctantly agreed to have one child with you. Yet you, knowing you want children (plural), married him anyway.

What the fuck is wrong with both of you?

I can tell you what the fuck is wrong with both of you. And I will. Get your big girl panties on. Both of you.

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What’s Wrong With You

You think other people are going to change. You though you could marry a man and then transform him into the man you really wanted to marry. You live in the Fifty Shades Of I Can Change Other People To Make Me Happy Fantasy World.

Why didn’t you marry the man you wanted to marry? Why didn’t you marry someone who wants children? Because you have a very limited choice in men. Here’s why.

1. You aren’t much of a catch.

I know nothing about you yet I can make some predictions most of which will be true.

  1. You have a liberal arts degree.
  2. You have a large amount of credit card and education loan debt.
  3. You work a dead end job.
  4. You have a rescue dog.
  5. You are fat. Not “curvy”. Fat.
  6. You enjoy being a victim.

You are playing the victim card right now. You are a victim of this terrible man who married you and now will not have children with you. You knew he didn’t want kids. You agreed to marry him knowing this. But none of this is your fault is it? You are a victim and you want Robyn and I to give you advice on how to change him.

Men are not going to fall over themselves to marry a woman like you. Thus you took what you could get.

2. Men are checking out.

Men are checking out of marriage and checking out of having children. Many men are waking up to the fact that getting married and having children offers them nothing at all and will destroy their lives. After 8 years their wife will become bored with them, get a divorce, and take the children and half of everything they own.

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The next 18 years of their lives will amount to making child support and alimony payments to a woman who spends the child support money on clothing.

3. The men who aren’t checking out aren’t much of a catch either.

The men who do want children have no idea how to go about being a good father.

What’s Wrong With Him

He married a woman who wants children. Not maybe-sorta-kinda wants children. A woman who expressly, openly, repeatedly told him “I want children.” That’s one thing you did right. Your desire for children was not a secret. He knew this.

Yet he kept dating you, asked you to marry him (I’m sure he had to ask you, it didn’t go the other way did it) and then actually married you.

Why did he do this? Because he knows he has no other choice. You were the only woman who would give him the time of day and he was so desperate for female attention and companionship that he lied to you to get it.

This is a man with no integrity and no standards.

How Does This Play Out?

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You are both living in the hell you created. Either there will be children or there will not. Either way one of you loses. And the loser will make the other miserable. Thus you both lose.

Most likely you will start having sex with other men and get pregnant.

Then the divorce will come and he will spend the rest of his life paying for another man’s child.

You will become a promiscuous man hater.

He will become a video game playing woman hater.

The child will grow up in a single parent home which is the most destructive thing that can happen to a child.

Congradulations. Both of you are fucktards.

What Should You Do?

Divorce him now before you get pregnant. You both made a huge mistake because both of you are stupid. Find a man who wants children and start over. Having or not having children is the biggest decision you will ever make in your life and it will deeply affect the life of the person you marry as well. You can marry a person who disagrees with you about many things but this is not one of them.

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