She Says: Don’t Just Nip The Tip

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Dear Circumcision Indecision,

I really don’t think there is is a right or wrong answer to your question. There are reasons to get your son circumcised and reason to not get him circumcised. They are all very good reasons. I honestly don’t know much about this topic; I am neither a man, nor do I have a son. Once again, this is a question where I am glad you will get the male perspective as well as my own. I do think that you are WAY too hung up on the social norms of getting your son circumcised rather than considering the medical reasons of circumcision. Is your main concern really that he will be teased later in life? You don’t even know if this will happen. What has motivated this way of thinking for you? Are you offended by an uncircumcised penis? Social norms are learned and you can teach your son to love his body just the way it is, circumcised or not.

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I do have some experience with uncircumcised penis’s (Peni? What’s plural? You get what I mean). My ex boyfriend from about ten years ago had one. I had never encountered one before his and didn’t balk at it once it was revealed. It didn’t look that much different, it didn’t smell unusual, I didn’t run screaming in the opposite direction. I did find out that, sexually, it functions differently. You can, indeed, stroke it the wrong way… kind of like a cat (insert pussy joke here). He was having some medical problems with it though. There was cracking and bleeding of the skin around the opening and he was considering getting something done about it. I will never know if he went as far as to have the thing circumcised but if I had to guess, I would guess that he didn’t. It really wasn’t that serious of an issue. It did effect our sex life, which was frustrating, but it didn’t effect his way of life. He never said he was teased about it or that any of his other girlfriends had issues with the look of his penis. And who really knows if it is better sexually? How do you compare such a thing if you have no basis for comparison?

I asked my husband if we ever had a son, would he want to circumcise our son. He told me no. He really doesn’t believe its necessary. His reasoning is that if you teach your son good hygienic habits and to respect his body then it just seems redundant. I would have to agree. Upon reading some about the procedure I also decided that my heart is far too soft to have such a thing done to my little one the moment they come into this world.

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In my opinion, having your son’s penis circumcised because you think it looks better that way is not a good reason to have it done. If it was medically the right thing to do then I would say you should definitely do it, but there is no real proof that it is better for a man’s health either. I found a fairly objective article on Web MD that I think you should read here. It does, however, state that there is not enough evidence to prove that the operation is beneficial. In fact, most of the websites I checked out say that it is really, ultimately up to the parents and usually based on your religious beliefs. But your religion has nothing to do with your question.

So what should you do? My first instinct is to tell you not to have it done. It really won’t effect your son’s health in the long run if he takes care of his penis properly. Five hundred dollars is a lot of money for something that is not entirely necessary. You can compared it to getting a breast job or a tattoo: aesthetically pleasing, costs a fair amount of money, but not essential to life.

If society tells you to jump off a cliff, would you do it? No. If society tells you to shave your head and tattoo hair on your head because that is the new “sexy” would you do it? Maybe. If society tells you to cut off your left pinky finger because it would be healthier if you only had four fingers on your left hand, would you do it? You might, but I guarantee you would do some research before you made that decision.

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 DO YOUR RESEARCH BEFORE YOU MAKE A DECISION. You should NOT base you decision on social norms, but rather on what is medically best for your son. This is something that cannot be undone and can be done later at his discretion. In the end it is his body, no matter how may hours you may be in labor to give birth to him. No matter what you decide, please teach your son to love himself no matter what he looks like above and below the waist.

 What do you think of Robyn’s advice? Leave your comments below and don’t forget to check back on Friday for Skippy’s advice!

 

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