Blast From The Past: It’s A Good Day For A Beer

In fact, every day is a good day for a beer.  If you are still above the ground you deserve a cold one.  Things are winding down here at Ask Us and we are going to close things out be reposting some of our favourite posts from the past.  You’ll be able to find Robyn and Skippy at their new home He Said / She Said.  In a month or so we’ll be jumping back into the writing groove.

Now for today’s Blast From The Past.

You may not have heard but people in Fort Collins like beer. Wanna go out for a beer with your friends but can’t think of a reason to do so? Ask Us to the rescue.

1. It’s finals week.

Robyn: Finally, it’s finals. Drink some “forget the last 15 weeks of your life” juice. But not until your final final. Until then, stick to Red Bull and vodka.

Skippy: Finals week had ended. Finals week has started. Finals week is going to end. Finals week is going to start. It’s the middle of finals week. You didn’t study for your finals. You passed your finals. You flunked your finals. Or maybe you don’t have finals but finals week means the college kids will be gone soon.

2. The college kids are gone.

Skippy: What else is there to say?

Robyn: Finally you can occupy one of the swings at Drunken Monkey without having to knock over some drunk college kids to get one of those fish bowls.

The College Kids Are Gone in Fort Collins

3. The college kids come back.

Robyn: Shit. There goes any hope of efficient traffic in all of Fort Collins. You will want that beer to get over the last 30 minutes you spent on College Avenue trying not to hit students on bikes and stopping at every stop light so they can cross the street.

Skippy: A beer with a shot of whiskey. There goes the neighbourhood.

4. You just finished hiking Horsetooth.

Robyn: Hell, drink one to get up the mountain, another at the top, and one on the way down. That’s motivation enough for me!

Skippy: Whether you actually just hiked around Horsetooth or if you are using “Hiking Horsetooth” as a code phrase for a sex act that involves three people, a two foot long gummy worm and a riding crop – I’d say an accomplishment like that deserves a cold one.

5. First date.

Skippy: About to go on a first date? On a first date? Just survived a first date? Drink up.

Robyn: Nothing like a little courage to make this date fantastic. Bonus points if your date is into drinking beer and not foo foo drinks. This is the Napa Valley of beer for goodness sake, might as well enjoy it!

6. Breaking up.

Skippy: That person is finally gone and now you are free. Oh the possibilities that lie ahead for you. First on the list? A beer. You might meet someone cute at the brewery.

Robyn: Don’t get us wrong, drinking won’t solve anything, but it will be a nice distraction in the interim. And, like Skippy says, you might meet the perfect rebound at your beer drinking place of choice.

7. You ran into a bar because it started raining.

Skippy: It’s going to stop in 20 minutes because that’s how Colorado rolls. But since you’re here . . .

Robyn: And even when it stops raining, go ahead and have another!

8. You need to do something to pass the time until the next bar or brewery opens.

Skippy: In Fort Collins if any piece of commercial property stays vacant for more that 3 weeks someone is going to install a bar and start serving alcohol to minors. Especially if it’s the space formerly known as Lindens.

Robyn: Just sit back on the patio of the brewery next door, relax, watch the remodel, and get ready to be the first in line for a tasting.

9. Drunk tweeting.

Skippy: I know my tweets are more entertaining when I’m drunk than when sober. Consider it a public service.

Robyn: Other people’s tweets are more entertaining when you’re drunk too!

Are You Drunk in Fort Collins

10. You ran out of beer at home.

Skippy: One day you will learn to keep a properly stocked fridge. Until then you many have to fall back on plan B and go out for a beer. It will cost more but there are some benefits.

Robyn: Benefits include that wonderful fresh beer taste right from the draft. Ahhhh. Nothing like it in the world.

11. Conversations overheard in bars.

Skippy: Even better than drunk tweeting. The stories of lost clothing, half-remembered hookups and bad pickup lines make it all worth while. You have to choose your destination wisely however. You need enough people to increase your odds of good conversations to listen in on but it has to be quiet enough for you to listen in without being obvious.

Robyn: In other words, not the Rio on a Friday or Saturday night.

12. Hot bartenders and waitresses.

Skippy: The people who work at the bar probably aren’t going to fuck you ’cause they have their choice of everyone who comes in the bar. But if you play your cards right you might get comped. If ya know what I mean.

Robyn: Plus, beer makes you charming, right? Right? Haaa!

13. Beer.

Skippy: This one is pretty obvious but sometimes people need to be reminded.

Robyn:

Do – the thing that buys me beer
Ray- the guy who serves me beer
Me- a name I call my beer
Fa- a long long way to beer
So- I’ll have another beer
La- la la la la la beer
Te- No thanks I’m drinking beer
That will bring us back to beer, beer, beer, beer.

Hit Tonys in Fort Collins

If you don’t have a cold one in your hand by now . . . what are you waiting for?

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